Loving an addict is never easy. There are so many situations, obstacles and feelings that you will go through and need to process. Unfortunately, family members and friends can’t make an addict recognize their addiction and get help. There are interventions and other tips to help encourage the addict to get treatment, but ultimately, it is up to them to admit to their addiction and get the help they need.
With this being said, if your loved one is ready to get treatment, our Emerald Coast Journey Pure team is ready to help them today. In the meantime, there are some tips for loving an addict and how you can improve your own mental well-being.
Facing Reality When Loving an Addict
If you are loving an addict, it is extremely important that you start facing reality. The longer you go denying their addiction and what is happening, the more you are likely to enable them and support their addictive lifestyle.
It can be extremely tough to face reality when you have a loved one or friend who is addicted to alcohol or drugs. However, it is vital to see that things aren’t going to just get better on their own. They won’t get better just because you wish they would either.
You must work on accepting that their life is out of control and you can’t fix it. You must accept they have addictive behaviors that are caused by alcohol and drugs. If you can face this reality every day, you will be able to better deal with loving an addict and encouraging their recovery.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Loving an addict can be one of the toughest things you ever do. Unfortunately, most people who love someone with an addiction don’t have boundaries set in place. They enable the addict, say yes to them all the time and feel bad for things that are out of their control.
If you love an addict, setting healthy boundaries is going to be key to helping them and yourself. These boundaries should be set around supporting your own life and being the best person you can be. They should also encourage a healthy lifestyle for your loved one or friend, instead of supporting their addictive lifestyle.
Some of the boundaries that you may want to set include:
- Not driving them to or from parties or bars
- Saying no when it doesn’t serve your best needs or theirs
- Not discussing or participating in discussions regarding alcohol or drugs
- Not calling into work for them when they are “sick” (hungover, drunk, or high)
These are some boundaries that you should start implementing between you and your loved one. If you can do these things, you can stop enabling the addict in your life. Hopefully, this will also get them to see that you aren’t going to participate or support their addictive lifestyle any longer.
Remember, You Can’t Fix the Addict
Have you been trying to take control over the addict’s choices, decisions and actions? Maybe, you try to stop them from getting drunk or pay their bills because they are wasting too much money on drugs. By doing these things, you aren’t fixing or helping the addict.
It is important for people to know that they can’t fix another person’s addiction. Sure, you might try with all your might to get your loved one to stop using drugs and/or alcohol. However, don’t you notice that the more you try to fix things for them, the worse things get.
If you can stop trying to fix the addict and stick to the things you have control over, it could help the addict to see they are responsible for fixing their own problems.
Take a Look at Your Own Actions
If you are loving an addict, you probably have spent so much time focusing on their actions and behaviors. In fact, you may be able to predict when they are going to be hungover, drunk or high. You might be able to predict how they are going to act or behave when they get drunk or high, too.
Even if you can do this, it is important for your own well-being and your loved one’s, that you take a look at your own actions. You already know that you can’t fix problems for your loved one or make them change. But, what you can do is focus on your life and what you can do. For example, if you focus on your own evenings instead of stressing about what your loved one is doing, you might find that you have more time to clean up your house or spend time with your other loved ones.
Learn About Manipulation
Have you found yourself in many situations with your loved one where you are doing what they want you to do, only to realize it isn’t what you want to be doing? If so, more than likely they have been manipulating you. Addicts seem to be very good at manipulation tactics, so they can get what they want.
If you need help learning more about manipulation, there are therapy services and support groups which can help you out. These services and groups can teach you how addicts act when they are drunk or high or when they want something from you. They can also teach you about ways you can respond, so you don’t get manipulated into doing things that aren’t good for your life.
Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
Has your addicted loved one been calling you selfish when you say no or when you do things for yourself? For one thing, this is one of the manipulation tactics we just talked about above. Another thing to note is that they are only doing this because they aren’t getting what they want.
If you are loving an addict, it is crucial that you spend self-care time every day, multiple times a day if you need it. Self-care isn’t selfish. You are doing what is necessary to bring more health, happiness, joy, contentment and peace to your own life. Everyone needs to do this, not just the family members and friends of addicts.
Get Help for Yourself or Your Loved One Today
Are you loving an addict? Does it feel like everything falls apart whenever you are dealing with a situation involving the addict? Do you let the actions of your addicted loved one affect your own decisions and life? If so, now is the time to reach out for help to stop enabling the addict and to let them see their own destiny.
Is your loved one ready to admit they have an addiction? If so, please have them reach out to us here at Emerald Coast Journey Pure today at (877) 958-5354 We have drug and alcohol addiction treatments, along with mental health services, that can help them to overcome their addiction and get their life back on track.
